If you dislike online relationships or long stories I advise you not to read this.

I’ve been in many online relationships in the past. Mainly I would date guys who said they ‘loved’ me, and yet I felt no feelings towards them. I used to think I had to give it a try, because it could be the only love I received. They treated me like crap, but I stayed most of the time because I felt it was all I deserved.*sighs* I hate myself for those days.

Anyway, in 2002 I met this amazing guy named Kris. He became my best friend, and I always had a crush on him. I kept it a secret until the summer of 2005 when I told him. I found out he felt the same way. He however told me he didn’t want to date until we met, because his last relationship went really bad. So I waited, and in that time he dated this girl named Sarah. He choose her over me after saying he wouldn’t. He said they weren’t together, but she says they were. I’m not sure whom to believe.

Anyway, they later ‘broke’ up. I forgave him and things were great. We still didn’t start dating, but it didn’t matter. Then in December he started to keep more to himself. I thought it was just because he was depressed, because he normally gets depressed in the winter. However, when he suggested we didn’t talk for a little bit I knew something was up. I found out he had starting dating this girl online named Kim. Who he also once said he’d never choose over me. *shrugs*

We started talking again at the end of December. Through out this time he would claim he ‘loved’ me and wishes he had chosen me. He said he loved me more then Kim, and asked me to wait for him. Stupidly I did. For months he would say he loved me one day, and the next he’d tell me I deserved better to move on.

I went out with a guy named Michael here who turned into a stalker. I didn’t care about him, sadly I wanted to just forget about Kris. Hate me for that if you wish. Kris continued his I love you, I don’t love you. He said he’d one day ask me out.

In March I went on the website Lavender Eyes . My friend Eric talked me into going to the LE prom at the time. There I meant two fine gentlemen. There was one with the screenname Neodarke who really caught my eye. I ended up pming him, and we exchanged messenger names.

For the new few weeks we talked a lot on MSN. We laughed and had a good time. One day I had a pm from him, saying, “We can only just ever be friends.” I was angry because I never expected more, and I felt like he acted like I flirted with him. When he usually did the flirting. I later found out it was actually from his G/F at the time.

He still said he was sorry, and he disappeared from the Internet because he was sick of the drama his girlfriend was creating. He broke up with her, and ended up contacting me in emails a month later. We talked a bit and he one day came back to MSN. We exchanged phone numbers and had a great time.

He helped me get over Kris and I helped him heal. On June 6th we started dating. On the 13th we broke up. He wasn’t ready and was really confused. So I let him heal some. At the end of July I wrote him a 10-page letter. I explained how I felt and said if we were to just be friends forever; I’d deal with it. I however also said if he wanted to be more some day I’d want that.

The letter as he said made him realize that he really did care about me. He admitted I had helped him heal, and that his heart belonged to me. On Aug 18 2006, he asked me out. It was the happiest day of my life. (Well at the time anyway.)

For my 18th birthday Kris decided to fly Steven in. Steven was to fly in Oct. 24th and leave the 29th. However, he missed his flight. Kris was able to get a second flight. Steven flew in on my birthday (Oct 25th), and stayed until the 30th. It was the best five days of our life. =)


Rewind